We all want to be the best we can be. Some will go so far as to try to be the best in the world at what they do. I belong to that group, the perfectionists.
Perfectionism has been a flaw of mine for as long as I can remember. It stems from my past of never winning anything major in my life. In junior high, I entered a speech contest sponsored by the Optimist Club, and out of the four boys I came in last. I was never good at sports, so I never had the opportunity to compete for a championship. I failed as an actor in high school theater because I never took my director’s advice. Instead, I listened to my overinflated ego tell me I was better than everyone else.
In past jobs, I never won the monthly office contests for achieving the best performances. Although I was never passionate about those jobs, the managers’ constant praise of the winners did spark some jealousy.
Striving for perfection is life-draining and a time-waster. It leads to illness and depression. It is an idea of a false reality that anything less than perfect is unacceptable. It can instill laziness by convincing a person that they are better than everyone else.
For years I have been telling myself that no one is perfect. It is still something I have to remind myself every now and then, especially when I am struggling with a writing project. Many times have I wasted hours of sleep dwelling on strategies to get better. I have neglected my loved ones not only because I’ve been transfixed on perfectionism, but also because I wanted them to be proud of me. I would also neglect my appetite. I would be so obsessed with perfectionism that I would ignore all things in front of me: opportunities, possible relationships, new ideas, and reason.
There have been times when I haven’t felt good about a writing project that I would enter a long state of depression. I would turn off my laptop, shut out the world, and lie in bed wishing I didn’t exist. All I wanted was for the hopelessness to go away. I would find myself overly exhausted from the struggle to be the best that I longed for a permanent escape.
Luckily life has a funny way of waking us from these nightmares. As I mentioned before, perfectionism is an idea of a false reality that anything less than perfect is unacceptable. Once I remember this, I return to normal.
Instead of being a perfectionist, I am striving to be a constant improver. Not everyone is going to love your ideas, but that should not persuade you to give up. In all projects in life, there will always be at least one person who sees your value. Unfortunately, we cannot make everyone happy.
Life will always present us with challenges. All we can do is keep pressing on and being ourselves. Bad times do not last forever.
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