Plastic Untouchables Excerpt

PLASTIC UNTOUCHABLES

Excerpt

The school’s theater room was like stepping into a matinee before the flick began. It was dark, it supplied soft rock music in the background, and the field of seats was empty with the exception of one at the very back corner. Jessica stared at me gravely as I headed closer her way through the aisles. When I arrived, she asked me to sit down while remaining stern.

“Before we begin, Sage, I need you to make a promise that what is mentioned in this room stays in this room. No one can know about our discussion. Not your friends. Not your family. Not a soul.”

“Jessica, please don’t tell me you’re planning on assassinating the head cheerleader.”

“This isn’t funny, Sage. I’m serious. As a friend, I am asking you to promise that you will keep our discussion a secret. If you can’t, tell me right now and I won’t waste anymore of our time.”

“Okay. I promise I won’t tell anyone.” I put all jokes aside and became serious with her.

“Thank you. And thanks for meeting me here, by the way.”

“No problem. So why are we here?”

“Sage, have you ever had a boyfriend?”

“No. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to be helping me with?”

“Absolutely. For the past three years, I have helped over a hundred girls at this school achieve their first boyfriend. They were timid girls who were clueless when it came to approaching boys. And of course the boys didn’t make it easier for them with their immaturity, their macho arrogance. And then there are the shy guys. Ah the shy guys. Gotta love their sweet, angelic souls. But at the same time I just want to yell out, grow some balls would ya! I’m sure Michael Tolliver falls into one of those categories. Am I right?”

“Yeah.” I responded. Michael was definitely shy. I could sense it through his cool, silent exterior.

“Women shouldn’t have to wait for love. I mean, why should we allow the guy to make the first move all because of the rules of chivalry? Let me tell you something Sage, chivalry is dead. It’s been dead for over fifty years. Unfortunately there are women out there who are too stubborn and too afraid to disregard those rules. If the guy isn’t going to step up to us, then we have to take the initiative to step up to the guy. It’s just like what Ariel said that day, we women have to become the predators.”

There was a short pause as she reached into her backpack and pulled out a short stack of papers stapled together and a tiny flashlight.

“Sage, there is a reason why nearly every girl in this school has a boyfriend, and it’s right here.”

Jessica handed the booklet over to me and shone the light from the flashlight onto it. There was a title in the center of the cover page that read:

C.Y.B.

(CHOOSE YOUR BOYFRIEND)

I stared at Jessica quizzically. “Choose your boyfriend?”

“Just as the name suggests, I service girls at our school in providing them with a boyfriend of their choosing. It can be anyone in the world, literally; just as long as he—or she—is not in a relationship with another girl. No more awkward moments. No more waiting for that phone call or for him to make the first move. No more fear of being rejected or being dumped. That's right. Your boyfriend won't break up with you. That will be your call."

"So I would have all the power?"

"All in your hands. With CYB, Michael Tolliver could be your first boyfriend by as early as tomorrow morning.”

“Are you for real Jessica? I mean, are you just kidding with me like you did before with the whole rivalry thing?”

“I’m being totally serious. Look around you. Ninety-five percent of Oreton is in a relationship because of CYB. It’s not a coincidence.”

If a total stranger walked up to me and made this proposal, I would have walked away without giving it another thought. But this was Jessica; the girl who was like a sister to me.

“So how does this work?” I asked.

“Before we move on, I just need to go over some of the policies with you. Have you ever seen the movie, Fight Club?”

“Uh, no.”

“Well, in the movie, Fight Club had a list of rules for the members to follow, and the first two are the same as ours: We do not talk about CYB. Not to anyone. Period. When you see me in the halls or at lunch, you cannot discuss CYB with me. We have our own way of communicating which I will tell you later. It is imperative that you adhere to the first two rules of CYB. And with that said, I need you to sign at the bottom of page two.”

“Without reading the disclosures?” I said, feeling a tad suspicious.

“Signing there just tells us that you agree to comply with rules one and two. The other rules are discussed later on.”

So this was the organization Amanda was referring to that day. It made perfect sense. She couldn’t talk about it because it would be breaking the rules. And this was how she began dating Dylan, which was why Michelle asked her to break up with him.

A high school dating service where no one could steal your man. I had to admit, it sounded interesting. I breezed through page two and then signed at the bottom. I figured I had nothing to lose if all I was signing was an agreement to keep the organization a secret.